Wedding parties....AH

I'm having a hard time making a decision....
My sister is getting married in June. I am her Maid of Honor. Fortunantly, her friends are planning the bacholerette party and bridal shower. My husband and I make enough money to get back with what we have. We have a comfortable, low maintance lifestyle for the time being and that won't change until we are both finished with our college education...5 or more years. Anyways, so I have to buy my dress for her wedding and my son's tux, he is a ringbearer. I'm planning on using my school loan to get those. And the bacholerette party is out of town that I will need money for....No question about being in my sister's wedding. I will figure out a way to make it all work, and she will help me with some money.
In September one of my good friends is getting married and I am, of course, a bridesmaid. I'm not sure if I can handle the expenses for her wedding right after my sister's. Then there is a chance that one other good friend will get married before the end of the year.
A part of me just wants to be a guest at my friends' weddings. I will attend the showers, the parties, and whatever there may be...but I can sit in the audience with my husband and bring a gift and be more content than standing in high heels and not being able to see the ceremony over all the other bridesmaids. But...will I regret not being in the wedding later. This is one of the last big events I will share with my girl friends before we all go our seperate adult ways. We already spend very little time together. I may call them my best friends, but they really don't know much about me anymore. Will it hurt them if I turn down there invitation of bridesmaid? The stress that I will have trying to get the money for the dresses and presents and parties will cause tension between my husband and me. He is the one I am spending the rest of my life with, and the main one to make happy.....(side note, I didn't have a wedding party, so there's no "I was in yours"...adda adda.) This decision is really hard on me and I need some opinions. And soon.

Trying to be patient...

So, I've been slacking on my journal. It's time I right down my feelings again.

I've been wanting a full time job lately. I applied for a supervisor position at my current place of employment, Kohl's. However, when they call me in to work my husband always wants me to stay home. I try to tell myself to not put work first. That's where a lot of divorces happen. I need to put my family and time with them first. But how will work know that I'm determined to a dedicated full time employee if I never help them out. I'm just ready for me and my husband to have full time career jobs and have Ash in daycare so we can have a comfortable life style. With carpeted floors and new furniture. A cell phone for each of us and a decent car that is ours and well maintained. I want to buy a pair of jeans once in awhile without feeling guilty. My husband has narrowed down his major to Culinary or Broadcasting. I will graduate May 10 for Hotel Management and hope to have some kind of decent full time job by the that time. Then Hubby has to get his GED before he can even start his general classes and he doesn't want to work while in school. It will take him at least 4 years, if not longer to finish. I'm trying to be patient and wait for good things to happen. But I also believe that you have make the good happen. You can't wait around for it to come to you. I'm trying to make it happen and wait. But hubby just doesn't know how much I hate our lifestyle right now. I LOVE him and Ashton and I wouldn't change having them for the world. I just wish he had understanding and helped me have a little more. He knows I'm slightly high maintance and I like material things. Nothing is getting done for me to have things. Ugh. I know this is just a momentary feeling of sadness and it will pass soon. Actually, it's been a long time since I felt this way. I only got 10 hours at work this week and I wanted to pick some up, but everytime they call to ask me to come in, hubby talks me out of it. I feel that I should stay home with him to show him my love and that I care how he feels, but I also feel like I should do what makes me happy. I like my work. I like to be there. I like to make money of my own. So which should I do?. I'm still young, I have time to make things work for us and to make a good living. I'm jealous of people that already have it figured out and have cell phones and cars and can buy new clothes...aka my sister.