Missing her, filled with envy

Jealousy, painful apprehension of rivalship in cases nearly affecting one's happiness.
Missing someone, to notice the absence or loss of.
I never before thought of myself as a jealous person. At the ages of 16-18 I was untouchable. I was free spirited. Easy going. Funny. Witty. A little sassy. Then at 19 I settled down with a wonderful man. A little too early some would say. I little too early, I would say. Got pregnant at 20, and married just after I turned 22. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE my husband and child, but sometimes I want to be a little rebellious again.
I am jealous, of my friend's freedom. She can go anywhere, do anything, at anytime she pleases. She parties and flirts. She spends all day with her best friend. She is still free spirited, witty, and sassy. I, however, have to accommodate my schedule around my husband's and son's. My idea of a party features pointy hats and noise makers. I forgot how to flirt, even with my husband. My best friend is 1 year old. Most days I've lost my flare for life.
But more than all that, I am jealous of the relationship she has developed with someone else. Another single person, who has all the advantages that a child and husband seemed to rob me of. I miss the relationship of knowing exactly what someone will say before it's said. Of laughing so hard and long at something, by the time you can breath you forget what you were laughing about. I'm jealous of their inside jokes. Their understanding of each other. Calling every few hours you're apart just to laugh and bull shit for a minute. I miss the girl talks about boys, sex, hair, and gossip that last all night. I miss the unconditional love that a girlfriend can give that makes you feel like sisters. I miss her support, her intelligence, and her sass.
Can she make time for a married woman with a child? Yes. But can she make enough time for a friend who misses her dearly? Not quite enough.